It rained today. The first sweet cleansing raining in 11 days. I needed it in more ways than one.
It's been one hell of a week! About a week ago I came to accept that there probably wouldn't be a tourist season this year in the Kimberley and I started getting my head around what that meant in terms of employment and income. I've never been out of work before so the prospect was a little unsettling, especially under the circumstances. Then I was optimistic, and somewhat relieved, at the prospect of staying here longer and dodging the worst of it - it looked like the caretaker's job would be the lifeline that many people don't have at the moment and it would guarantee an income and some security as long as necessary. And now I'm processing all of that - not having a tour-guiding season, not earning the money I normally earn and potentially staying here much longer, while just about everyone I know in the tourism and hospitality industry has lost their jobs in the last few days. There's been a few tough moments along the way, upset for close friends who are struggling and still a little rattled by the uncertainty of it all.
These are the things I know.... As of today I have offered to stay on as long as necessary. With things changing by the day that could be a month or it could be much longer. I'm grateful to have a job, weekly supplies and a place to call home. I am also coming to terms with all of the things that are now on hold and more than ever I am hyper-aware of this bubble that I live in.
6 months ago when I signed up for this job I was processing the end of a relationship and coming to terms with a tough end to the season. Back in September I was wrestling with this idea that perhaps the universe doesn't always give you what you want, but perhaps it gives you exactly what you need. There were some good lessons and life perspective tucked away in the last few weeks of September. Looking back on it it's interesting that all of those forces at play set me on a course, and put me in a position, to be where I am today - buffered from what could be the worst economic crisis of our generation.
Today, I am still processing what it means to stay here longer, processing what it means for a big chunk of my life to remain on hold and getting my head around being detached from this shared trauma that's currently unfolding. Relieved. Upset. Grateful. Stressed. Every day is a rollercoaster at the moment. Just like everyone else.
Hope everybody's OK out there.